Jul 27, 2016

Birth Story {Part Three}

In case you missed them:  Part One // Part Two

At 5:15 P.M. the doctor was back for another check. I was genuinely excited for this check (as uncomfortable as they are- ugh!) because I was so sure we'd be getting close to go time. So when the doctor announced that I hadn't made ANY progress in the past 4 hours I immediately wanted to cry. She said she was going to go look at my other numbers and stats and think about our next plan of action and she'd be back. When she left the room I just remember looking at Jared and fearing the worst.

Sure enough, the doctor was back in about 15 minutes and she said, "I've looked at everything... Even though your contractions look great, what we have at this point is failure to progress. I think the best thing to do now is get this baby out of there. I'm recommending we go ahead with a c-section."

I instantly started shaking my head and pretty much freaking out, there's not really a better way to describe it. I looked at Jared and I think we both just felt completely helpless in that moment. I wanted him to tell me this wasn't happening, and he wanted to fix everything and it just wasn't possible. Jared asked the doctor to give us a couple minutes of privacy which I was so grateful for. When it was just the two of us I clung to him and cried. "I don't want surgery! I should have never been induced!"

Jared prayed over me and just held onto me until I gathered myself a little bit. We were both a wreck at that point; having a major surgery just wasn't on our radar. We already had an induction sprung on us the day before, and now we're headed into a c-section? It just felt like nothing was going right but what other option did we have? We wanted our baby here safe and sound and although it pained me to do so, I knew we just had to trust that this was the right decision.

Suddenly our room was a flurry of activity. Prepping someone for a c-section takes a huge team of people. Jared ran down the hall to let our parents know what was going on while multiple nurses prepped me for surgery. I was still emotional and I remember one nurse in particular wiping my tears for me after she put my surgical hairnet on. She was sweet and tried to comfort me by reminding me that we were getting close to meeting our son. I couldn't wait to meet him, but it was also hard to feel excited in that moment when I was also terrified out of my mind. I didn't know it at the time, but one of the nurses snapped this photo and while terribly unflattering, it sums up how I was feeling in those moments.

Before I knew it I was being wheeled back into surgery. Jared had to wait outside the operating room for a few minutes which definitely felt like forever. The bright lights and the harsh contrast of this room compared to our labor room was almost too much to handle. I was feeling nervous, anxious, a little loopy from whatever medicine they were pumping into me and starting to feel sick to my stomach as well. After they got me on the operating table I remember asking, in practically a whisper, for someone to get me something because I thought I was going to be sick. Without anything in my stomach it wasn't really possible but dry heaving was almost just as bad.

Jared finally joined me and started talking to me immediately. He sat right by my head and held my hand as the team continued to get ready for surgery. I had a minor fever right before surgery so they stuck this weird thermometer sticker on my forehead to keep track of my temperature throughout the process. I was feeling so out of it by the time they started surgery. People were talking to me and I couldn't really focus on what they were saying or asking me. When they did the prick test to make sure I was numb I remember just staring into this woman's face and not knowing what in the world she wanted me to say. I think I just said "what?" over and over again before closing my eyes and fading out for a minute.

The surgery started and I continued to fade in and out, trying to respond to Jared as he talked to me but barely being able to focus. My fever was climbing rapidly which was making me burn through the painkillers much faster than normal. It's normal and even expected that you're going to feel a lot of pressure during a c-section, but at times the pain and pressure was so much that it felt like I was going to come up off the table! Once the doctors realized this, they continually upped the morphine throughout the surgery. If I wasn't loopy to begin with, I certainly was now.

Finally- the doctors just about had him out and they were telling me he was almost here. One of them hollered, "Any final weight guesses, mom and dad?" Somehow I was with it enough to say, "Seven pounds" and before I knew it Tyler was born on Thursday, May 26th at 6:45 P.M. and Jared was telling me, "He's here! He's here!" The nurses took him to be weighed and lo and behold, he weighed seven pounds exactly.


I was still fading in and out but I heard a cry and I heard everyone saying he was perfect. I turned to Jared and randomly said, "Does he have hair?" I'm pretty sure that made Jared chuckle ;) Somehow my camera came into the operating room with us (Zero recollection of how that happened) and a couple nurses did a great job taking photos for us, which I will cherish forever. Everything was such a whirlwind, I'm glad there are photos of the first few moments of our son's life.

Jared got to hold him while they finished surgery and finished putting me back together. I was having some double vision and it was breaking my heart that I couldn't really tell what my baby looked like yet. I kept trying to focus on him but the room was still feeling like one big blur to me. It took a pretty long time to finish up surgery and finally at 7:54 P.M. I got to hold my son for the first time.

It was instant love. All the craziness, all the trauma, all the pain- it was worth it. It truly was. He was here, he was healthy and he was perfect. Thank you God for this blessing! Jared and I just cried happy tears and smiled that our little family was together and everyone was okay. Our hospital stay was longer due to the c-section and the concern about my fever leading to an infection to me and/or Tyler, but thankfully it didn't. We were so excited to leave finally on Sunday and start our new life together.




45 comments:

  1. I know it didn't happen how you wanted, but I'm so glad he got here safe and sound. Great job handling all the craziness mama!

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  2. What a happy ending to your story friend. Sweet T made his grand entrance and you are, no doubt about it, a trooper. Love your sweet little family. :)

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  3. WOW, what a story. It's always scary when medical curveballs get thrown our way and I can only imagine not expecting a c-section and then having one unexpectedly. I'm so glad everything turned out okay and that everyone was healthy. Kudos to you Mama, you did it!

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  4. Goodness, way to make me tear up! So grateful that he was healthy and momma was a champ. God is good!

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  5. Even though your birth story isn't at all what you wanted or expected - it's yours and it's perfect. YOu are an amazing, strong woman and you have a perfect little boy - at the end of the day that's all that matters. You are amazing - never forget that. It doesn't matter how your baby got here - he's here and that's what is important. Thanks for sharing your amazing birth story with us!!

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  6. You are amazing my friend, what a journey you endured to meet your little guy.

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  7. OKAY THESE PICTURES ARE PERFECT. I'm so sorry it was scary and not what you wanted, but I hope writing this out was a good process for you, and thank the Lord for a healthy baby and mama :)

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  8. I cried for you. I am so sorry things happened this way. While, yes, it is good that he made it safe and sound - it doesn't make his entrance any less traumatic. Again, I am so sorry this happened. What an experience. I hope you are healing well. Tyler is adorable. Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. I love birth stories :)

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  9. Oh my goodness! What a trooper you are - I'm so happy everyone was ok, well and happy in the end!

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  10. With my first, I was induced at 40+6 and ended up having an unplanned/emergency c-section. It's not ideal, and laboring before a major surgery is certainly not fun (my scheduled c-section was a hundred times easier!), but YOU DID IT! It's just the first of a million sacrifices you're about to make for your little guy. ;) Congratulations to you and your new family. Those photos are perfect!

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  11. I love that you guessed his weight perfectly! What a scary process getting him here, but I'm so glad he came into the world safely and healthy! Amazing pics of y'all too! :)

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  12. What a ending! The one thing I'm confused about, you kinda mentioned it above, about being induced...had the "not nice" doctor not made that call, would it have been ok to leave him in more? Besides high BP, nothing else was "wrong" was it?

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  13. So so happy this story ended so happily. I think your story is a good one for current moms to be to understand that even if you have a plan, it may not go the way you intended, so prepare yourself for that. Tyler is definitely perfect and I am SO happy for you guys!!!

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  14. This made me tear up! I hate that you didn't get the birth experience that you wanted, but you are amazing for making the necessary choices to get your sweet babe here safely!

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  15. 1. Thank you for sharing your birth story with us. I can't imagine having to relive all those scary moments as you typed this all out. 2. YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR. Seriously, through it all, you and Jared chose what's best for your little man, even if it wasn't what y'all wanted/planned. 3. I love that your camera made it to the operating room and you have all of these pictures!! 4. I am so happy he was born healthy, and that y'all are both doing well now!! And guessing the birth weight was pretty incredible!! So excited for y'all, friend!! :)

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  16. Talk about a stressful time! I know that I would have been freaking out if I had just found out that I needed a c-section too! I'm glad that everything turned out ok, and I bet that y'all were ready to get out of the hospital! Also way to go for totally guessing his weight right too!

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  17. Ahhhhh hormones! I am over here crying at my desk. Don't mind me. I just love all the pictures. I am so glad that you all made it through and you have a healthy perfect baby out of it!!! I am terrified of the whole delivery aspect of pregnancy. Like so terrified I can't even think about it right now because I know that so many things can go wrong and all you want is your baby to be here and be ok but it can all be so traumatizing. So I have to ask, how is the recovery?

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  18. Oh wow! I am totally crying at my desk! How wonderful that you have all of those photos! Congrats on a healthy baby and lovely family! :)

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  19. After everything you went through to bring him here, I am so thankful he's finally here and your family is complete! It's amazing how instantly it all seems worth it once they are in your arms! Congrats mama!! So happy for all of you!

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  20. And now I'm crying at my desk too. I'm furious that this didn't go anything like you'd hoped and that you felt so out of control and manipulated but I'm so happy that you have this tiny perfect little human who is healthy and happy at home with you. You are a champ! Thank you for sharing.

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  21. So sweet! Even if your story wasn't what you planned for, I'm so glad you both are healthy and happy in the end. T is so precious and quite perfect! :)

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  22. TEARS!!!! Goodness I love you! So proud of you! Tyler is one lucky boy to have you guys.

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  23. YOU DID IT. You got through it, and you gave birth to a healthy perfect baby. And that is ALL that matters, even though the surrounding circumstances completely sucked. And I am heartbroken that you had such a terrible experience. And honestly...it annoys me that doctors don't let labor progress naturally. It seems like they jumped the gun with the c-section. Not that I'm an expert :)

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  24. Such an incredible story!! I have to say that a couple of our friends were adamant about not having c-sections and waited it out but after 34 hours of labor a c-section was needed. I guess doctors sometimes do in fact know what they are talking about regardless if in the moment we want to ring their necks and tell them they are dumb. ha. ;)

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  25. What a crazy couple of days, but you handled it all so beautifully! And now you're a mama! I'm so proud of you, and I don't know if I've ever been so compelled by a birth story!

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  26. Just read all of your birth story and am crying over here! Isn't it just the most amazing thing to finally hold your baby? I'm so so sorry that the birth wasn't what you wanted or expected, but just so thankful that you were both okay and healthy. He's beautiful, mama!

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  27. What a wild story - surprise, unpredictable things, routine things, disappointment and the JOY of a new baby! I had a few high blood pressure scares during my pregnancies and mini panic attacks at the thought of going in for a check up and not being allowed to leave. SO glad you were able to check yourself out and go home to gather your things. Sorry you never got to see your doctor while you were in the hospital. Same for me - mine was on vacation and I was sad. Thrilled that you and your little guy are happy, healthy and doing great. Pregnancy is a wild ride and it's crazy to me how many variables go into actually delivering a baby. Thanks for sharing :)

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  28. I'm crying now! I love that you guessed his weight exactly.

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  29. I know I've said it before but I'm so sorry you had this birth experience but I'm so happy you guys are doing great now! With Clara I had an emergency C-section after an induction and wondered for a long time afterwards whether the doctors had made the right decision. It's really hard when you don't feel like you're getting all of the information. Thanks for telling your story, I loved reading it!

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  30. Oh my gosh!!!!!! I don't know why and I know I had nothing to do with it (obviously lol!!) but I feel like I just want to hug you and say I'm so sorry for that horrible hospital experience!!! It's so crazy, I just read another birth story and it was like roses and rainbows and then this! Obviously the most important thing is that he's here and all is good with both of you now, but gosh that is such a bummer that it went that way. My step sister actually just had her baby, about a month ago and she was induced and then didn't have a c section for like 48 hours!!! It was really unexpected for her too and I think it's hard to accept that it was sort of, not your choice you know? We should be able to decide. (Look at me all talking like I'm a Mom lol.) Anyways! He is capital A adorable and you should probably share more pictures!!!!

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  31. Even though his arrival wasn't how you planned, I am so happy he arrived safely! That's so sweet that the nurses took those pictures for you!! He really is such a perfect little guy!!

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  32. Aw. Again thanks for sharing your story .. You convey your emotions so well.. And the way you talk about your hubby being your rock and strength through it all is amazing . I'm glad baby T got here safe and sound even though it was not the way you envisioned it ..

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  33. This brought me to tears. A big congrats to you and your family!

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  34. Those pictures! First pictures are so precious.

    Again, sorry it did not go how you hoped, but I'm glad you're all here and healthy.

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  35. Oh, girl! I'm crying! Ha! I did ok until the part where the nurse was wiping your tears telling you how close you were to meeting your son. I am so sorry things didn't go as you had hoped. When you said when they mentioned C-section you basically freaked out, I thought I would have reacted the same way. I have dreams for my future labor/delivery but I know they don't always go as you hope. Anyway. Your son is precious, so thankful you finally got to hold that sweet baby in your arms & feel how "worth it" all of that was! I know you are a great mama, too. :) Love that last pic. So sweet. :)

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  36. Wow! SO glad your birth story has a happy ending with Mama and Baby being okay!!!

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  37. I have tears in my eyes now. I want to hug you! I'm so happy that you are both healthy. Jared is a wonderful guy and I'm so thankful you had him through all of this. It's great that you have some photos of the delivery! That's exactly why I want to be a birth photographer. We're all in a different frame of mind during labor and delivery so having some photos really captures that time for us to remember! That sweet little boy is the cutest!

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  38. Oh my goodness. I can't imagine how terrified/frustrated you must have been. I'm sure all you wanted to do was SEE your son and be able to focus on him! I love that the nurses snapped some photos for you. That's really awesome. I'm so, so very happy for you and your precious family!

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  39. Erin, seriously, I have tears in my eyes right now. What an adventure. I'm sorry that things didn't go as you would have hoped but I am so glad that all worked out well.

    Now, when Tyler is being a brat later in life, I remind him of this story & what you went through! Ha!

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  40. I am so sorry that it wasn't how you wanted it to be. I can't even imagine what you were going through. But he is perfect and I am so happy for you and your family! Congratulations again!

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  41. oh Erin. what a whirlwind rollercoaster of emotions. i can't imagine how scary it was. i know all that matters in the end is that you have a happy and healthy baby, but still. i am sorry it wasn't what you expected/wanted.

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  42. Oh girl. What a crazy experience! But all worth it right? Those last few pictures are just perfect. Love, love, love. Oh and I'm terrible. I just realized I never texted you back about an official date for our date. I'll get on that...

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  43. umm...I am already an emotional mess this morning, but that was beautiful. Although that wasn't your plan to bring your son into the world, God knew what you both could handle. It's a story you will remember forever. Don't feel bad for waiting so long to post; I'm sure going through all of that and then writing about it was hard enough. Again congrats; what a blessing!!!

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  44. Oh my gosh - tears! What a beautifully written birth story! Just so special - thank you for sharing!

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  45. Don't mind me, I'm just over here with tears in my eyes. What a crazy whirlwind of surprises, but you have such a beautiful little guy now. Plus, I love that he shares a birthday week with me :) I'm so glad you shared your story. Hope you guys are enjoying every little drop.

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